goals and health and life and stuff

I just had a spider fall off my face, onto my shirt, and then go down my shirt. It was little.

So...I'm a fledgling health nut. I've been running four miles when possible (though I think I need to invest in real running shoes, not my $5 sneakers. My knees and ankles are starting to act up a little, but boy do I love not spending money on things). Or if I can't run that day, I'll do an exercise video - sometimes both. My body craves it. And food, as I elucidated in my last post, is doing great. Christmas was bad news in terms of healthy eating, but now that I'm home I'm back to eating...and thus feeling...quite well.

And consequently, I'm the fittest I've ever been in my life. I set two ambitious and lofty goals a few months ago (not really New Year's resolutions, just old fashioned goals): 1) get a six pack, and 2) fit into size six pants. I didn't really think either of those would happen (I've been around a size twelve my whole post-pubescent life, pregnancies excluded). And then I was shocked to see a very subtle but unmistakable 4-pack forming on my abs. And then I was shocked to go to Target and, just for a lark, try on some size six pants only to find that they fit. To be fair, I think they were a very generous size six, and all of my other pants that fit properly are size eight. And the scale in Seattle (where we spent a fantastic and loving Christmas holiday with Andy's family) said I was, at the lowest point, 136.3 lbs. I don't think I've weighed that little since I was 15 and still growing.

Now, I'm a far, far cry from being "skinny." Between all the jiggle I've still got and the alienishly wrinkly stomach skin (I was not one of the ladies blessed with stretchmark-resistant rubber for skin), I couldn't wear a bikini even if I was so inclined. And I still have a pretty high percentage of body fat, I think. BUT despite that, I am...really proud of my body. I just didn't think my pelvis bone could fit into size six pants. I didn't think I could ever be a runner or a healthy eater. But I'm doing all of those things! And I feel a healthy glow internally, and I feel attractive externally, and as a result, I write blog posts about health/fitness and bring it up in conversation way, way too much.

I'm not sure how far this will go - I have no intention of spending more than an hour a day exercising, I don't intend to ever spend the time or mental energy to count calories, I don't intend to spend money on a gym membership, and I still plan to enjoy a small amount of sugar in my life. But it's kind of exciting to think that I have gotten this far, and there's still so much more I could change that I haven't changed yet. For the first time I believe that my body...MY body...has the capacity to go all the way if I'm willing to take it there.

I have dabbled with the idea of training for a half marathon. I'm still a total novice, and I don't actually know what "training" entails. I could do a 5k, since that's less than four miles. But I'm afraid that once I do a serious run I'll see how slow and clumsy I am and lose my momentum.

Now for the stuff that's not about my bod:

- Corryn is THIS close to walking. She knows she can do it, she's just being coy with us.
- Elliot starts Joy School next week. I'm not sure how I feel about this.
- I have a few little jobs I'm working on now.
- Andy's PhD apps - all ten of them - were finished as of last Sunday, and he's already had a phone interview with one of the very best schools. We're still hoping to stay at UCLA, but I think there's a real possibility we may not stay in Los Angeles after all.
- I have awesome in-laws.