Apples: A Review

"With the possible exception of a tangerine, I can't think of anything more similar to an orange than an apple....So how is this a metaphor for difference? I could understand if you said, 'That's like comparing apples and uranium,' or 'That's like comparing apples with baby wolverines,'...Those would all be valid examples of profound disparity. But not apples and oranges."

-Chuck Klosterman

I've used this blog to review and recommend movies, books, and music. Now allow me to do the same for apples.

I've never been a big apple fan.* But in an effort to teach myself the virtue of being a brave eater as well as introduce more fruit to my diet, I decided to try every kind of apple that I could find. Or in other words, I tried every apple that I could find at Walmart. There are many apple types that were not included, and I intend to try them as I come across them. Also, this is not a very statistically sound experiment, as I didn't give the gross ones more than one chance:

Golden Delicious: This was my first one, and I was pleasantly surprised. It was sweet but nicely tart. Not as grainy as I remembered apples being.

Red Delicious: This is the apple that made me dislike apples. A little bitter, terrible texture. Turned brown immediately.

Gala: A little worse than Red Delicious for all the same reasons. As Andy informed me, "These are the apples they put in free lunches for kids. They're the cheapest." Just another way society is ruining our children.

Fuji: Possibly my favorite. Good blend of sweet, sour, and je ne sais quois. I ate this one the fastest.

Granny Smith: I tried a few of these, and they seem to be kind of hit and miss. I obviously favor the tarter varieties, but some of my Granny Smiths were a little too sour for casual eating while some were perfect.

The winners, for me, are Golden Decicious and Fuji, with Granny Smith following close behind. It was interesting to note how the redder varieties browned so much faster than the green and seemed to me to have more annoying skin.

Moral of the story is that I like apples now. They're like single-serving, individually-wrapped health snacks straight from nature. And some of them are even kind of delicious.

*Here is a roughly comprehensive list of all the foods that I don't care much for but will probably eat if pressed: bananas, mushrooms, orange juice, ham, tofu, avacadoes and avacado products, meat with bones in it, mayonnaise, cheerios, oreos, milk, chocolate cake, chocolate ice cream, dark chocolate, squash, hotdogs, eggs in most forms, meatloaf, baked beans, and fish or sea life of any sort. These are foods that I didn't used to like, but have taught myself to like in most situations: yogurt**, tomatoes, oranges, cranberries ... and apples.

**I haven't touched yogurt since I got pregnant, as it decided to become disgusting again the moment I conceived.